Is the Issue a Lack of "Manners"?

As is the case with many of my posts, todays discussion began with a conversation I was having with someone interested in the workplace generational issue. As we were talking, it became clear that this persons problem didn't lie in Millennials work ethic but rather her perceived view of their "manners". In her opinion, Millennials just don't have the same sense of manners that other generations do. I, of course, defended Millennials saying that different generations have different approaches to most things. After our conversation was over though, I really started to process her points and a few of them made sense.



Let's start with this...Millennials really do have a lot to offer! They are bright, enthusiastic, and want to make a difference. But the question is, are they lacking in some of the basic manners we were taught as children. The answer...well maybe they actually are. I don't blame them though. It's our fault. I'm not sure they were ever taught some of the basics of interacting with others respectfully. As a child, I remember always hearing messages like "Say please and thank you when someone does something for you", "Open the door for those who are following you and allow them to go first", "When you need to speak with someone, ask them if they have a moment or if there would be a better time for them rather than assuming you can talk now". I could definitely keep going and the main point is I heard these messages from my parents, grandparents, school, and church. It was hard not to learn these lessons because I was constantly hearing them. I wonder if those same messages have been passed on to the Millennial generation.


I've noticed a very specific trend that may be contributing to this issue. We are expecting TV to teach our kids messages about things like manners, ABC's, interpersonal skills, and a wealth of other lessons. The problem here though is that maybe that's not the right way to go about it. Maybe there is a disconnect between what is being taught and what kids are absorbing. Maybe that's the problem...but maybe it's not really about Millennials at all. Maybe it's a greater issue in society that ALL of us have lost some of the basic manners we learned. I'll give you this example as case in point...I recently attended a conference with a varity of generations but mostly Gen X, Baby Boomers and even Veterans. Here's what I noticed, there were a lot of people there who were downright rude. Talking while others were talking, making comments about presenters that I would never even consider appropriate in private let alone in a professional conference.

So here's the deal. Millennials may have different values or manners, but some other generations are just as bad. You'll have good and bad apples in every generation so I think it's important that we not generalize and say all Millennials have bad manners. Some do, many don't. I guess it goes back to the basic rule we were taught, don't judge a book by it's cover!